Comments from FFOS
Members
By Vicki
FFOS was my foothold when I thought I was literally falling off the
end of the Earth!i
By Rose, friend
of Jenny
Right after my
son's girlfriend died, I was devastated. I did not know where to go
for help with my own grief let alone how to help my son. That was
when I found the grief discussion board and Karyl invited me to join
FFOS.
Since then I have found friendship, support and comfort with people
who know what I am going through and I was finally able to find a
way to say goodbye to Jenny without totally losing my cool or my
sense of self. FFOS has helped me in so many ways, but mostly by
teaching me more about suicide and the impact it has on those of us
who are survivors....
By Susan, Wife
of Tony
In my
desperation after Tony's suicide to find help, information and
answers, I stumbled across the website for FFOS. I looked at the
website and immediately joined the suicide discussion board group.
I was able to pour out my personal feelings, pains, anguish and
fears in the postings and received so many responses that were
positive and started making me feel better.
Hey, I was not
alone in this, like I thought. I then joined into the email group
and have developed many friendships and so many friends, it is like
an extended family.
Here, I can say
what I need to say without anyone trying to tell me I am wrong.
Here, I am able to help others if by other way than posting about my
own grief. Here, I am able to read other's posts and realize that I
was thinking that all along, but was afraid to say it. Here, my
healing started. Here, I belong. Here, my life after Tony's
suicide began.
God Bless each
and every member of FFOS. Reluctantly, we all join the exclusive
club we are in, but joyfully, we pull together as a unit and hold
each other up. Here is life, love, sadness, sharing, laughter,
kindness, compassion and above all FRIENDS and FAMILY...
From Andrea, Daughter of Melody
When my mother killed herself
my perfect little world was shattered. I desperately was needing
someone to talk to, someone who could understand. My family and
friends have tried to support me. They tell me how to grieve, and
what I should think, and how I should act.
But how could they even begin
to fathom what I was going through? They had never lost a loved one
to suicide.
Alone and heartbroken I began
to search the internet for online support groups, that was when I
came across FFOS. I was immediately relieved in a sense, because
after I started recieving responses I realized these people did
understand. And I didn't feel so alone. I've made several friends
and I have a lot of support here. I know that if I'm having a bad
day, they will be here to listen. And they don't judge me or critize
me for what I say or what I think. They are just there helping me
along the journey. I appreciate that more then words could say.
From Brenda, Aunt of Matt
FOS has helped me in so many ways. It's a wonderfully safe place for
people in their initial grief to come, not be judged, and learn from
others that they can become functional again after the terrible loss
they have suffered.
I need to count myself as one of the very broken people who came in
to FFOS, with my heart in my hand, and through the intervention I
experienced within the group, and the compassionate conversations
I've had with other FFOS'ers, I've become as whole as I possibly
can, given the hurt and heartbreak I experienced through the loss of
my nephew Matt.
FFOS has made it very effortless, and meaningful to memorialize
Matt, through two cookbooks, the wall, decals, tiles, etc. It's
through these living memorials that I can keep his memory alive in a
significant manner.
I've spent time reading very heartfelt, compassionate, well written
memorials of FFOS's group members. I learn each time that I read
one, and feel pain for those whose journey is just begining, I feel
blessed that I found FFOS when I did. Inside this forum, I have
learned so much and met others in the same situation as
myself--we've lost someone that we care about so deeply.
FFOS is also a safe place to grieve. This is a hugely important
task. Sometimes when my grief has been so overwhelming, the guidance
that has kept me from making poor decisions has been in place.
From Robin, Wife of Louis
Suicide......something that always happens to other people. That is
how I felt before my husband took his life.
I quickly realized suicide doesn't always happen to other
people...it happened in my own family and I had never been educated
about suicide or being a suicide survivor. I found I no longer knew
how to live my life - because everything was different and I was now
one of those other people.
FFOS helped me to learn there is no shame in being a suicide
survivor and most of all...that I was not and AM not, alone.
FFOS was my beacon of light in my suicide survivor storm. It was my
lifeline, my support, my safe place and my refuge when I was so
battered and broken I couldn't survive in the world as I knew it.
I found support, understanding, compassion, companionship,
education, love and friendship which all helped me to build the
strength from within myself to face the world again and to know, not
just hope, that I could live a happy life and be a suicide survivor.
I can't praise the FFOS group enough! They have not only become my
Friends - they are my Family due to a suicide.
From Sr Mary Fides Realubit,
OCD, Sister of Eugene
I lost a brother to suicide and it was only six years later when I
finally come to grips with the truth of how his death was affecting
my whole being.
FFOS gave me the space to slowly come out in the open. As a Catholic
Nun it was not easy even with my own self to be simply honest about
my feelings. I had too many "spiritual jargons" and I didn't want to
"offend" God by articulating what was in my heart. I was trying to
be the nice catholic who kept on convincing myself that I was OK as
spiritualize and cope "alone" with my harrowing pain.
FFOS allowed me to be real, to be true and to be honest enough to
really feel my feelings and say whats in my mind without protecting
an "image" of one who is a nun and is supposed to have understood it
all in terms of faith and everything. The raw honesty and the
support of each one in this group is something I really feel
grateful about. I realized it was okey to open my bleeding heart and
trust that healing would come as I share with men and women who knew
exactly where I was coming from. They saw what i saw and felt what i
was feeling.
This loving family "companioned" and is still companioning me as I
journey through life, though forever marked with the suicide of a
beloved brother I am walking on a different shore now . I used to
think it would always be dark.that my guilt and sorrow wouldnt
end...I was wrong... though we never remain unscathed... healing,
forgiveness, acceptance....new life is possible. I believe with all
my heart that God and my brother, Eugene led me to FFOS.
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